One could easily write a whole book about the rules of black tie.  For now I’m going to focus on what to do, and not to do, when the invite says “black tie.” These are THE RULES—don’t deviate!

If the invite says “black tie” (as opposed to “black tie optional” or “creative black tie”), it means that men mustwear a tuxedo.  Rental tuxedos are an abomination, so if possible, you should own a tuxedo for just such an occasion.

In terms of color, you have two choices: black or midnight blue.  Midnight blue is so dark that it is virtually black.  Forget about any lighter shade of blue, regardless of what you may have seen in fashion magazines or movie posters.  The only circumstance where it’s okay to wear a white dinner jacket is if you’re in a tropical location, or, in the U.S., at an outdoor event south of the Mason-Dixon line.

The fabric of the body of your tux should be either 100% wool or wool blended with a bit of mohair, which will produce a nice sheen at night.

Lapels should be black silk, either in satin (shiny) or grosgrain (ridged fabric that appears almost matte). (Note: You will occasionally see a midnight blue tux with midnight blue lapels, but this is a pretty advanced move, and it requires wearing a midnight blue bow tie (and cummerbund, if applicable)).  Satin lapels work best against a fabric in the body that already has sheen (i.e,. a wool/mohair blend), as this combination will produce the most contrast.  Grosgrain lapels work best against a 100% wool fabric – they do not produce sufficient contrast against a fabric with sheen.

Your trousers should have a stripe down the side in the same fabric as your lapels.

You have three choices for the shape of the lapels – peak lapel, double-breasted, or shawl collar, in descending order of formality (no notch lapels, ever, which are reserved for ordinary business suits).  Each of these has its own distinct appeal.  Single-breasted peak lapel is the most formal and always appropriate. Double-breasted is rakish and uncommon and will stand out among a room of similarly-attired men (though it is subject to the perils particular to the DB suit, discussed elsewhere).  Shawl collar is the least formal and as a result projects a certain insouciance. (Note: There is also such a thing as a double-breasted tux jacket with shawl lapels.  It is rarely seen but if you can find one, you will definitely stand out in the room, in a good way.).

You will need to wear a white tuxedo shirt with a turndown collar (no wing collars, ever – they are meant for white tie) and French cuffs.  Tuxedo shirts also have their own variations in formality.  The most formal has a stiff “bib” front in a textured fabric called marcella and takes studs instead of buttons. (Note: If you opt for a bib front, have your tailor add a strip of shirt fabric that connects the bottom of the bib to a button inside the front of your trousers.  This will prevent the bib from riding up.).

You can also wear a pleated front, either with a fly front (where a strip of fabric covers the buttons) or a plain front that exposes the buttons.  The latter can take either studs or plain mother-of-pearl buttons (though studs are obviously more elegant).  Avoid a plain front without pleats as this too closely resembles a shirt you would wear with an ordinary business suit.  No ruffles.  In all cases, a very elegant and traditional choice for the body of the shirt is voile—a thin fabric that is almost transparent.  Many will be afraid of it, but no one will see it unless you take off your jacket, and if it’s turned into that kind of party, a sheer shirt fabric is probably an advantage.

I prefer to wear a bib front tuxedo shirt with a single-breasted tux (where the full bib with its shirt studs can be displayed to best effect), and to reserve pleated fronts for double-breasted tuxes (where relatively little of the shirt front is visible), but it’s really a matter of taste.  It’s not a bad principle to pair the relative formality of the tux jacket to that of the shirt, and so the best pairing for a single-breasted peak lapeled tux jacket is the bib front.

On your feet, you should wear black patent leather shoes.  You can opt for plain lace-up Oxfords, which should have no surface adornments such as cap-toes or perforations.  A nice touch is to add laces made of black grosgrain.  An alternative approach is to wear opera pumps (loafers with a very low vamp – look it up) adorned with a black grosgrain bow. Many will avoid this option as they will fear to appear effeminate.  I say, go for it – if you’re wearing black tie, chances are you’re going to a party.  Do not wear velvet slippers unless you’re an English lord entertaining at home.

In terms of accessories, your bow tie should be black silk in a fabric (satin or grosgrain) that matches your lapels.  It must be a self-tied bow-tie.  Even a pre-tied self-tied bow tie is unacceptable – it will droop below the top of your collar.  If your self-tied bow tie looks a little sloppy, all the better – it shows you’re not totally anal retentive and that you took the trouble to tie your own bow tie like a grown-up.

If you’re wearing a single-breasted jacket you need to wear a cummerbund to cover your waist.  It should be black silk, in the same fabric as your lapels, and should be worn with the pleats facing up.  It’s a good place to hide opera tickets, or cocaine, or whatever else you don’t want to lose.

Avoid suspenders, as they are old-fashioned, uncomfortable, and tend to interfere with the line of a well-cut jacket.  Plus, you’re wearing a pretty complicated get-up already.  But if you must wear them, know that white, while it looks cool, is technically incorrect with black tie (it belongs with white tie).  Your suspenders should be black or some color that harmonizes with your tux, like a deep burgundy.  But again, I suggest you forget about this idea.

The only acceptable choice of pocket square is white linen; your lapels are already shiny so silk doesn’t work.  Socks should be true dress socks in black silk, the more transparent the better. Never, ever wear a watch to a black tie event – it’s rude as it suggests you care what time you leave.  And black tie is the one occasion where men can indulge in some serious jewelry choices – in terms of shirt studs and cuff links. I personally like black onyx studs or off-white mother of pearl, but really, the sky’s the limit.  Just make sure your studs and cuff links match.

If it’s winter and you need to wear a topcoat, it should be black or midnight blue.  A Chesterfield coat (with a velvet collar) looks especially good.  You can wear a white silk formal scarf if you want but it won’t provide any warmth and you will need to remove it at the same time you remove your coat (sorry) – you’re not Austin Powers.  Gloves should be black calf or light grey suede, and, again, removed with your coat. If it’s raining, no raincoat – bring a (black) umbrella (again, sorry).

If I haven’t already mentioned a particular type of accessory, then it’s off-limits.  Leave your top hat and walking stick at home.

To top it all off, get a haircut, and don’t be afraid of a little pomade or gel.  Your hair should look as sleek as the rest of you.

And last but not least, now that you look awesome, have fun!